Learning to look after myself first, with the help of A hawthorn tree, and some mistletoe...

Unsure of what tree to go and meditate with as my final one for my spiritual diary coursework, or where to go, I went to the park next to the hospital, where I was going to pick up my friend who had given birth three days earlier, and now I was helping her go to court. 

I would have chosen a different day to go and do my meditation, but I just got a new diary with all the phases of the moon in it. I've never had one before, and I also got a moon journal, which has activities listed for different days in it, ruled by different planets. So I made Monday (moon day) the day I would do my spiritual diary, (It said it was a good day for reflection, I'm doing Yin Yoga on this day too). I also knew If I didn't fit in what I wanted to do first, then I would probably end up resenting my friend for it (I even wrote this in-between times when they all kept coming back out of the court room, but I got it done) So I got up early, meditated and did yoga at home, and I realised that as I would be supporting my friend, It was important and great I was looking after myself first, otherwise, how could I really support her? Then I prepared myself food to take with me and headed out to do my tree meditation.

I had realised there wasn't time to go and Meditate with the silver birch tree's I had identified to go back to after getting the Birch Card in the Green Man Tree Oracle, so I had nearly given up, but then I remembered the huge Cedar tree's in the park next to the hospital, Whose roots I laid on for support in the summer in-between tests, before getting admitted for surgery and ending up intubated in intensive care! So I went to that park, and started walking around, looking for the right tree.

The one I had laid with before didn't seem right in winter, all the leaves in summer from the trees behind it blocked out the view of the hospital back then, now it was almost completely open. There was what looked like a hawthorn tree, but that seemed to out in the open field. The Silver Birch tree's were right next to a path, and the others were oaks, which I already meditated with. As I walked back around, I noticed a golden looking spot on the possible Hawthorn Tree, as I got closer I realised it was mistletoe, which I have never seen growing up close on a tree before, this was the tree.

Being up close, I realised not only that it was a Hawthorn, but that it was the perfect tree as Hawthorn is heart healing, and after sitting down as comfortably as I could on some of its roots, I asked Hawthorn if it could strengthen my heart for the day ahead. This again ties in with the fundamental truth that I have to look after myself first. Sitting on the roots, I managed to get my back partly to the trunk for contact with the tree.

Knowing that the last quarter moon was in Libra, I put my hands on my knees in a position I think is for balance. It was very cold so I hoped to feel some warmth from the tree, I'm not sure if this happened, If it did then it was very subtle, maybe wanting to be warm or imagining the tree could help me, made me feel a little warmer. I was considering giving up in the cold, I meant to bring a blanket, this would be the second time though, having tried with a Sweet chestnut the week before and getting too cold. I managed to relax more, and noticed the birds singing and drew my attention more towards the tree. I was thinking again about getting up when I had a spontaneous visualisation or vision of a root coming up inside me and connecting with my heart, followed by many others all coming up to connect with my heart, wrapping around my heart and supporting it, although I felt I had to make sure they didn't squeeze it too tight.

I did doubt it a bit and wonder if I made it up, I don't feel that I did now typing it up, especially having just read a little bit more about its spiritual heart healing powers.. I realised at the same time I could put my cold gloveless hands away inside my warm sleeves, so much more comfortable, so much more loving.

A Few more minutes went by, I was relaxed and enjoying the energy of the tree when my half way bell went off on my meditation timer. I considered ending it there with the cold, but then I remembered walking meditation, and I realised once I got up this tree was made for walking Meditation. It had a wonderful circular canopy, that came down quite low at the edges, enclosing a wonderful space under the tree, and was quite large for a Hawthorn, even though it has been trimmed back quite a lot. I walked around the tree in a circle, keeping under the canopy, looking at the canopy, looking at the amazing roots and trunks winding together making up the tree. Taking in the remaining dry red berries & leaves on the ground. going fairly slowly, saying 'Budd' as one foot touched the ground, and 'Ho' when the other touched, which I learnt in the summer. Then a magical moment came where I changed it to 'Haw' and 'thorn'. I felt a bit self conscious walking round and around the tree when someone who looked like a nurse came by, thinking I might get sectioned for being insane! I did my best to let it go and focus on the amazing beauty of the tree which worked quite well.

After a few turns around the inner canopy of the tree, I ventured out of the canopy and walked the opposite direction, following a border around the tree, of grass that has been left long with twigs, berries, leaves and other magical things in it. I loved taking in more of the tree and decided the grass circle must be a ring of power and protection. Many years ago, I think during the war, nearly all the tree's in this park apart from the Cedar's, were cut down, so I felt grateful to see it being looked after, and I thought maybe the tree did too. I saw the amazing mistletoe again, there were actually three separate balls of it growing in the branches, I added it to my chant; 'Haw' Thorn' 'Mistle' 'Toe' it had been said silently but I now said it powerfully out loud. I walked the outer edge a few more times, and then when I got to the area where I came out, I went back in.

Once back under the canopy, I was feeling glad to be back under its protection and looking a the amazing trunks. I walked back around a few more times in the original direction and when I got to the place where I had came out and in again, I stopped, deciding I wanted a piece of the beautiful wood for a Wand or Talisman. I found a great piece that the tree was happy for me to take. I usually only take fallen 'dead' parts and funnily enough this piece was pretty much dead too. I also tried to get a piece of mistletoe, to give to my friend for good luck. It was too high up to get a piece, but I felt so grateful to the Hawthorn tree and the mistletoe anyway, and thanked them both for their Magic

I took time before during and after meditating, to take in the glorious tree, and make some photographs of it. Hawthorn is easy to identify in Winter because there were some very small areas still with its distinctive leaves, berries, and many many more still on the floor beneath it. Another one nearby even still had fresh berries on. It also has tiny bits growing from the twigs were the leaves and berries grown , that look like thorns, but aren't. The amazing bark is also a very distinctive, dark grey brown and silvers in some parts. The bark has thin, deep grooves, like a miniature Willow, and areas that seem to flake away